Funeral Planning

Assist your loved ones in funeral planning

Yudelka Sterrett vividly remembers when the call came that her 43-year-old father had been in a car accident. Just days later, hospital administrators asked the family if they could harvest her father's organs, since there was nothing more they could do to save him. Because her family had no idea of her father's wishes, they denied the request. A short time later, Sterrett's father died. While no money had been set aside for funeral arrangements, the family picked up the costs. The experience prompted Sterrett's family to put some mechanisms in place for the future. "Since my father's death, my family has purchased nine plots," she comments. "We'll be more prepared next time."

Have you properly prepared your loved ones for the inevitable? Probably not. At best, you may have written a will or started the estate planning process, but that won't address your family's immediate concerns. Unfortunately, the person responsible for making your final arrangements will be forced to make major decisions and purchases within 48 hours of your death. While you can't alleviate the stress your survivors will experience, you can assist them by having a plan outlining your funeral wishes.

"Preplanning your funeral allows you to decide the method of disposition you wish, the kind of services you want and allows your family to focus more on grieving and recovery," says Kelly Smith, public relations manager for the National Funeral Directors Association. Preplanning also allows you to make important decisions with a clear head. "From an emotional standpoint, people tend to make more rational and logical decisions when they preplan," advises Carolyn Whigham, owner of the Whigham Funeral Home in Newark, New Jersey.

Whigham suggests you begin the process by visiting various funeral homes in your community and deciding where you think your family would be most comfortable. Then, have an open discussion with the licensed funeral director at that facility about your choices. "You can do it yourself privately or bring some family members with you," she adds.

Those you choose to make your final arrangements should be aware of your choices and informed about any bereavement entitlements. Vietnam veterans, for example, qualify for a free burial at a national cemetery, a free grave marker and other services. Some union and fraternity members also receive death benefits.

Although religious or moral convictions will probably dictate your final arrangements, preplanning ensures these preferences are effectively communicated to your family. Your plan should focus on the type of memorial or funeral service you desire, a method of disposition (earth burial, entombment or cremation) and location. Here are some general guidelines to start your preplanning process:

Determine your method of disposition. In funeral planning, it's best to start with the last step and work backwards. Your final resting place will influence how your body is prepared, what products or services are required, and how much your arrangements will cost. Most Americans are buried underground. According to the National Funeral Directors Association, earth burials averaged $4,700 in 1996 excluding cemetery plot or monument expenses, which could run another $2,000-$3,000.

The second most popular and most expensive alternative is entombment, which places the remains or cremains (if cremated) in an above ground tomb or stone mausoleum. This option is particularly popular in regions where geographical restrictions preclude earth burials. Costs range from $1,500 to more than $4,000.

A lesser known option is direct cremation which can cost under $1,000--especially if a casket is not used in the process. If you're interested in donating your body to a medical school for research, this alternative is free--as long as the arrangements are made in-advance.

Plan your ceremony. Do you want an open casket viewing? Are there any particular religious aspects that you want incorporated in your ceremony? Are there any organizations, friends or co-workers that should be included? Consider these and other questions that your family may have as concerns.
Itemize your costs. The Federal Trade Commission, which offers a free funeral planning guide titled Caskets and Burial Vaults (202-326-2222), has made it easier for consumers to comparison shop. The FTC Funeral Rule requires funeral directors to give pricing information over the phone and provide you with a price list if you come in person. It also allows you to purchase caskets--the single largest funeral expense, averaging $2,500--from outside vendors without the threat of a carrying charge. Direct Casket, for example, offers discounted coffins ranging from $195 to $3,495. For additional assistance in itemizing your funeral costs, POWERsolutions has created PreNeed ($39, 800-955-3337), a software package that offers a step-by-step guide through the decision-making process and helps you generate a final report, although it's not very graphic or interactive. A similar report can be developed by using a basic word processing or spreadsheet program.

Aside from prepaying for a burial plot, it's generally not recommended that you prepay for funeral-related products or services. According to Lisa Carlson, author of Caring for the Dead: Your Final Act of Love (Upper Access Books, $29.95), "unless you need to set aside assets for Medicaid eligibility, it's better to invest your money in a higher interest-bearing account." Consumers have lost money because funeral parlors that sold pre-need plans went out of business, didn't cover all expenses or were only available at one location. Instead, Carlson advises that you leave the pricing information in your plans for loved ones.

"We prepare for babies, colleges and buying a home, but we never prepare for death," says Sharon Seay, executive director of the National Funeral Directors and Morticians Associations. "Pre-need planning enables your family to know what your intentions are and eases the burden they will experience after you're gone."